To See with Eyes Unclouded by Hate
by whisperofyourheart
Summary: The adventure doesn't end with Miyazaki's epic movie. Find out how humans and gods come together to reconcile and eliminate the only thing that stands in the path of harmony: hatred.
1. Chapter 1

The night was as dark as black ink; now it was twilight. The lucky few who wake up early as can be are said to be the most fortunate beings on the planet. They can witness a time when the world is beautiful. Namely, the gods of the Forest. Moro, the wolf godess, lifted her majestic head to the purple-blue sky, that sparkled like shimmering water, and almost was able to forgive the humans. After all, that which is eternal and unending is nature—they may have caused great damage to the trees and caused the Forest Spirit to sacrifice himself, but no sort of destruction or hatred can ever rid time—time when the sky reflects all which is good and pure, the _kodama, _little tree spirits, come out of their solitude to rattle their heads about in joyous celebration.

The wolf stretched and stood up, shaking the slumber out of her majestic white fur. Her keen eyes took in her surroundings automatically, making sure there were no demons nearby, or worse yet, ingrateful, snivelling humans. She left her mossy bed to check up on her cubs, who were sprawled under the clearing of a tree. Her two boy cubs were sleeping soundly; it was her daughter she was worried about. San, the Wolf Princess, was curled up in a ball next to her younger brother. She was covered in human skin, not animal fur, so she was sandwiched between the two wolfs to get maximum warmth. Moro tenderly licked the scratches and cuts on her face she'd gotten from the previous war with the humans. San almost never smiled; her face was usually twisted into a fierce snarl to imitate her mother. But in sleep, the scowl was gone. She seemed like a baby—there was even a soft smile on her lips as she breathed softly in her sleep and snuggled closer to her brothers.

Moro nuzzled her children to wake them—San's dark green eyes shot open immediately and she sat up in a frenzied panic. Her brothers took more time waking up, yawning with their wide jaws and blinking crust from their eyes blearily.

"Be calm, child," Moro purred to her daughter. San immediately slumped against her mother. Her battle reflexes weren't gone yet; she still constantly felt like she was in the midst of war.

"Look, the sun has almost risen. We have slumbered too long. Come, children. We must go to the village."

San jumped to her feet, agile and swift. She pulled down her red mask, bounded on her brother's back and the wolf family sped off.

The goddess Moro ran along with San's brothers to speak with San.

"Do not become too attached to the human, Ashitaka," the wolf warned San. "He has done good things for us, but you can never entirely trust a human. It seems he has feelings for you, but you cannot fall for him. You must obey me, daughter."

San nodded, fixing her sights on the ever approaching horizons. For some reason, she felt a bit like crying. They were nearing the village. Soon, she would see Ashitaka. She hadn't seen his face in months—had it changed? Had _he _changed? She wanted to know. She wanted to know more than just the warrior Ashitaka. She wanted to get to know her friend Ashitaka, who she loved almost as much as her wolf mother and brothers and forest friends. But her mother had warned against becoming too close to him—a tear slipped out of San's eyes but no one noticed it, as she was wearing her red mask.

It was around morning when Ashitaka woke up to hear the village people shouting and creating quite a ruckus outside his tent. Ashitaka quickly slipped on his pants, shirt, and mocassin shoes. He put on his red cap, and sword, and went out to see what all the commotion was about.

In the months after the war, his hair had grown back to past his shoulders. He kept it in a loose bun on top of his head, just like back when he was the Prince of the Emishi tribe. Other than these physical appearance changes, he was still the same boy. Except now he was a man—the war had made him wiser, stronger, and left him with mingled bittersweet feelings.

Every morning, he woke up and helped work in the mines with the men; at night, he joined the ladies in their labour and gave them a helping hand. He was popular among the ladies; they were past prostitutes and, after all, old habits die hard. Many women covertly revealed more of their breasts when the dashing young warriro walked by. Many more shamelessly teased and flirted with him—even those with husbands. But it was all harmless fun; Ashitaka was fond of the people in Iron Town. After all, Lady Eboshi had changed her ways to respect the wishes of the forest spirit and animals.

Ashitaka emerged out of his tent to find people in a frenzy, rushing past him to the main gates.

"What's going on?" he shouted over the din, but no one paid him any heed.

At the main gate, there was a huge gathering of people, all crowding around the main gate, which, it seemed, was being pushed open by no less than 10 men. The women were all at the back, complaining loudly of being deprived the entertainment. Ashitaka turned to the nearest one.

"Toki, what's happening?"

Toki turned and grinned at him. "Hey handsome," she said flirtatiously. "You might want to go up and see for yourself. They probably need you after all, the stupid oafs. It's been 30 minutes and the gate's not even half open."

"Excuse me," Ashitaka said gently. Immediately, the people parted and made a clear path for him. Many of the men held their breaths as Ashitaka walked steadily on. Though his curse had been cured of long ago, he was still slightly feared by people.

Lady Eboshi, cool and collected as usual, was standing by the men, watching on. Her hair was smooth and black, her rouge perfectly applied, giving her lips a crimson red color. Gonza, red-faced and furious as usual, was standing by her side, struggling not to yell at the men's slowness. When Lady Eboshi spotted Ashitaka, her eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

"Ashitaka, would you mind giving these men a lending hand? I'm sure you will facilitate the process."

Ashitaka obligingly helped. He gave a mightly shove and the gate suddenly lurched forward an inch. The towns people gasped in awe. The curse had given him supernatural powers that allowed him to kill men with ease, but the war had left him with strength that could be used for good. "Would you mind telling me why we're pushing the gate open?" he asked Lady Eboshi politely.

Lady Eboshi laughed her tinkling laugh. "Why, certainly," she said. "You see, some of the women were on night shift and report that they spotted the wolf family running down the trail to our town. They must have something to say. We must welcome them with hospitality. The last time they came to visit, Princess Mononoke had to climb our highest wall and jump down 30 feet."

Ashitaka's hand slipped. "San?" he said, not daring to believe it. "She's coming?"

Lady Eboshi gave him a knowing look. "I know you must be excited to see your girlfriend." Her eyes glinted with humour.

Ashitaka looked down, trying not to smile. But he felt jubilant. In the weeks of the raging war and his suppressed misery as he fought to rid himself of Nago's curse and stop the horrible hatred between the humans and spirits, somehow, one way or another, he'd fallen in love with the wolf princess. He always thought about her on an unconscious level. She was beautiful—the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. She was also the strongest and bravest girl he knew.

In around 10 minutes, with Ashitaka's strength, they managed to heave the gate open. Everyone was talking loudly to each other with mixed excitement and trepidation. There was a hushed silence when they saw who was there.

It was Moro, the wolf goddess, with her two cubs, and… _San. _

"It's Princess Mononoke," someone in the crowd whispered. The whisper seemed to carry out with the wind.

Ashitaka, for once, was frozen in shock. He couldn't stop staring at San. Even though she still had her mask on and he couldn't see her face, he thought she looked amazing. She sat upright on her brother's back, looking mysterious and important. They were quite a picture: the fierce wolves, and the human girl.

Lady Eboshi stepped out into the clearing and spoke in a clear, confident voice.

"Moro, goddess of the spirits, mother of all wolves, what business have you in Iron Town?"

Moro smiled grotesquely, her mouth rippling back to reveal her sharp set of teeth. When she spoke, it was a low, raspy rumble that most of the villagers couldn't understand.

"We have left our home to see whether or not you have kept your promise of building from other resources, other than those stolen from our forest. Indeed, we have not experienced any disturbances but we find it necessary to see what really is happening behind your closed off walls."

There was a short silence. Some of the towns people shuffled their feet nervously. To them, Moro's low growls sounded menacing and ominous. Lady Eboshi's plastered smile faded to a thoughtful expression.

"You don't trust us," she said. It was a fact.

Moro growled softly. "Humans are deceitful and vain. There may be peace now, but it is an uneasy peace. We spirits are wise in age. We can resist temptation from the centuries of experience. But a human is so fragile. Your life is at stake right this instance. Therefore, we will come often to monitor your progress."

Lady Eboshi had fixed her challenging smile on the wolf goddess now. Ashitaka wondered uneasily if she would deny the wolf access. But—

"Very well," she conceded. "Please come in."

She turned to the townspeople, all of whom were staring in confusion.

"Get back to work, all of you," she said. When no one moved, she shouted, "Go!" People dispersed and scattered.

"Come with me," she told Moro. The wolf mother and her children walked behind Eboshi closely. Ashitaka followed. He thought his heart might burst from happiness.

"San," he said to the princess. But she completely ignored him.

The wolves picked up their pace, leaving Ashitaka behind.

"Wait!" he called. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach; why was San ignoring him?

He caught up to them and gently touched San on the arm. "San, it's me. Ashitaka."

Moro gave a low growl and glanced at her daughter. "Go away," San told him fiercely.

Ashitaka stopped in his tracks, bewildered and heartbroken. Those were the words she had said when they first saw each other.

At around midnight, the people of the Emishi tribe in the village were all asleep after a long day of hard toil. The only person awake was the wise woman of the tribe; she was looking into the fate of their lost prince, Ashitaka, who had left on a dangerous journey many full moons ago. Stones rolled across the chalk marked wooden floor of the hut.

The wise woman breathed in relief; their prince was alive, and his curse had been cured. Now they only had to wait for his return, and he would be forever known as the Legend of Ashitaka, the warrior who defeated hatred.

_To be continued… _


	2. Chapter 2

Ashitaka could barely sleep. He rolled around in his bed of woven hay fitfully, tossing and turning. Horrible images punctured his dreams, images of the demon god Nago, his baleful, beady red eyes and worm like skin, a wasted forest littered with blood and the corpses of human beings, the aftermath of war, a man without arms. In his nightmares, Ashitaka saw a monster. He gasped in fear and the monster opened its mouth as well. Ashitaka's eyes widened when he realized _he _was the monster—the mark of hatred, all purple and black, was growing rapidly on his body and he couldn't breathe—

He woke up with a gasp. He forced himself to stay put until his accelerating heart slowed down. His undershirt was drenched with sweat and his face slick with perspiration. Ashitaka looked around—his eyes took a few minutes to adjust to the darkness. He assessed the darkness of the hut and the snores that filled the air. It couldn't be nearly dawn yet—the sky was still pitch black and the moon voluminous and bright.

He took off his sweaty underwear and shirt. Praying that none of the women were outside going for a midnight bathroom break, he slipped out of the hut. A gust of cool summer air greeted him when he stepped out. He relished it, letting the coolness wash away his previous nightmares.

"Couldn't sleep?"

The hairs on Ashitaka's bare arms and legs prickled when he heard that voice. He forced himself not to jump, and turned around slowly.

"Moro," he said, nodding his head respectfully. But when his head came up, his eyes met the wolf's sharp red eyes with firm levelness.

The wolf goddess herself was residing on the roof of the hut, which was a narrow slab of rock. He was reminded irresistibly of the other time he had Moro had talked. He could never forget what she had told him.

"_You could jump, you know. End all the pain."_

A goddess of life and death had suggested he take away his own life. Until today, the words still troubled him. He knew well Moro hated him, if only for being a human being, but she was not one to toss around words carelessly. He wondered what might have happened if he had listened to her and thrown himself off the cliff that evening and perished beneath the rocks below.

"What are you doing out here boy?"

Ashitaka turned away. "Nightmares," he said quietly.

"San has been having them too," said Moro, uncharacteristically gentle.

Ashitaka's heart clenched when he heard San's name, but he stood his ground.

"And is she okay?" he asked, trying to sound offhand and nonchalant.

"Ashitaka, do you still love my daughter?"

Ashitaka couldn't answer. Not to the wolf's sneering and condescending tone.

"Good night," he told her. "I think I can sleep now. This wind is very nice. It blows from the East—it feels like good wishes from my tribe."

"Were you not promised to a girl when you were a prince?"

Ashitaka suddenly recalled his fiance, Kaya—her black eyes and black hair and the jewelled dagger she'd given him to remember her for before his journey. He'd never loved her, but accepted their imminent marriage as a duty. Besides, he was fond of her. She was a nice girl and always treated him with kindness.

"I was," he said, frowning. "But when I cut my hair and forever left my tribe, that engagement was automatically annulled. She is most likely married to someone else now. It's been months. She might even be a mother."

There was a few beats of silence. Ashitaka felt a queer sense of loss and sadness. For the first time since leaving it, he missed his old home. No—for the first time in months, he was letting himself feel his emotions. He'd wanted to cry when he left Hii-sama and the elders of the tribe behind. It was painful to say a last good bye to Kaya and turned away without a single glance back.

A tear fell from eyes, then another, and another.

"Is the warrior succumbed to the folly of tears?" Moro sounded amused.

"Tears are for those with hearts. I would rather have a heart and feel tremendous pain for only a little joy than be cruel and cold and without feeling."

"You are a simple fool," Moro said, her throaty laughter eerie. "This is why the gods will survive the humans: you are too weak to live in this cruel and heartless world."

"I'm sure you would let tears fall if one of your children were to die," Ashitaka suggested.

"Silence!" the wolf snarled. "How dare you be so impertinent—suggesting such a notion! I have had my cubs torn before my eyes by wild demons, devoured by rabid boars, and shot to death by humans. I looked on without weakness and accepted their cruel fate. My poor children—victims at the hand of utter and total stupidity and ignorance."

"I can understand," Ashitaka said earnestly.

"You understand nothing," Moro said, anger unmistakeable in her voice. "You even work for that evil woman."

"I do not work for her, I have agreed to help her build a better Iron Town out of my own free will. Lady Eboshi is a good woman," Ashitaka said firmly. "She has her flaws and made some poor decisions, but she gives homes and work and hope for the sick and lowly. She has amended her ways: have you not seen it with her own eyes?"

"I have," Moro allowed. "And because of this, we leave tomorrow."

"Will you come again?"

Moro considered him. "What would you do if I told you you could never see San ever again?"

"I would not saying anything out of fear," Ashitaka told her honestly.

The wolf goddess got up, and slinked out of sight without another word.

Ashitaka stood there for a bit longer. It took a while for him to realize that he was freezing—standing outside bare and naked had made his body numb with cold. He ran back inside the hut and slipped into his warm bed of hay, promptly falling asleep.

His dreams were contorted, twisted, filled with doubts. San, looking lithe and sprightly in her dark blue cloth dress and white fur cape beckoned to him, giving him one of her rare smiles. They scaled the forest together, jumping over roots and undergrowth. Together, they climbed a tree, San jumping ahead of him, laughing as she went. Ashitaka had never felt so happy. At the top of the tree, he stumbled and she caught him, their faces inches apart. San's green eyes reflected the forest—green and full of life. He could feel her warm breath on his face. "Ashitaka," she murmured, and leant in closer.

"Ashitaka."

He opened his eyes and looked to his right. The morning sun was pouring in. He shielded his eyes from it and sat up. Men were groaning as they got up, drowsy and sleepy.

"Ashitaka, the girl is outside. Princess Mononoke. She wants to speak to you."

In a second, he'd put on his clothes and was out. San was outside. She beckoned to him and ran off. Ashitaka followed, bewildered.

"We don't much time so follow closely," San called. She motioned and her brother came bouding out of the woods. Villagers shrieked in fright and scattered when he came. "Come on," she shouted, as she jumped on his back.

Ashitaka whistled for Yakul and they took off into the mountains.

They reached a disclosed area, a wide, clearing of trees.

San slid off her brother's back. He retreated into the shadows of the trees, as did Yakul.

"San—" Ashitaka began, but San put a finger to her lips. "Mother will be looking for me soon, so no talking. I need to explain before we leave. Mother has forbidden me from seeing you. I can't tell you more than that but, here."

She offered him her hand, upon which lay an exquisite flower. In all aspects, it was green—green petals, buds, stem and thorns.

He looked at her questionningly. "This was from the time the Forest Spirit ruled us, before Eboshi killed him. But you were right—he still lives. She never really did destroy him. I found this in the sacred area where he healed your fatal wound. It's for you. It's a gift. It can heal most wounds, illnesses, and diseases."

Ashitaka took the flower from her, holding it between his fingers as gently as possible.

She continued, "I cannot disobey mother again. I've already broken an ancient rule of the wolf tribe by disobeying her. Ashitaka, you can never come find me, understand? Stay here and don't venture out looking for me. If you do, the ancient gods will lay their wrath upon the wolf tribe. I'll come visit you, when I can. But for now, this is goodbye. For how long, I can't say."

She turned around. Then faced him again. "I'm sorry."

"San," he said, finding his voice. "I..." But the words he longed to say died in his throat. Instead, he said "Don't forget me."

San gave him one of her rare smiles. "I could never forget you." Then she and the wolves disappeared into the dark forest, leaving Ashitaka alone in the clearing.


	3. Chapter 3

"Lady Eboshi, can I speak to you?"

Lady Eboshi lifted her head slowly from her work, examining iron rocks. She gave the rock in her hand one last tap and careful scrutiny, before nodding her head in approval.

"That's good iron." She handed it to Gonza.

"Yes, Ashitaka, what do you want?"

"I was wondering if there is anyway to communicate with the spirits of the forest."

Eboshi lifted one delicate eyebrow. "What a queer question. Why would you want to communicate with the spirits, Ashitaka? I believe you're working diligently in Iron Town, as I recall."

"We're working together," Ashitaka said firmly. "There's no reason now to say that Iron Town is a separate entity from the Forest. Have we not reached a stalemate? My reasons are strictly off business related matters. It is San I need to speak to."

"Who? You mean Princess Mononoke?" Lady Eboshi questioned. Then she smiled. "Have you gotten so close to the wolf princess that you know refer to her by her tribal name?"

"It is her true name," Ashitaka said. "She might have a human body, but it is the spirit of a wolf that resides within her. Besides, she does not remember any name her human parents bestowed upon her."

Lady Eboshi measured Ashitaka, appraising him with her eyes. In the months he'd mysteriously arrived to Iron Town, having saved two of her villagers and seemingly brought them back from the dead, dressed in his strange coat of woven hay and red mask, Ashitaka had earned himself quite a reputation: mysterious, handsome, incredibly strong, exotic… She didn't trust him. He'd certainly helped in many ways, rebuild Iron Town, and the ladies loved him; but Eboshi was uncertain. She was still wary of his abilities; after all, where had all the power come from? It was impossible that such strength could have all been a result of the boar demon's curse… Nevertheless—

"The only way to communicate with the spirits of the forest is for them to come to you. You have no right, as a mere human, to seek them. However, if it is justice you seek to serve, you may journey to the North, where the monsters and demons reside. You must first survive the trickery they will play on you. These are all rumours I have heard. No man has survived the ruthless hunger and evil that lives in the North. There are no tribes that dare settle there and neither are there gods. But if you vanquish these demons, the gods might take notice of you. No man has survived the ordeals there. From what I have heard, they will tear you up limb by limb, sucking out your marrows and using your blood for their daily baths. I've heard they are collecting human hearts to win the approval of the Forest Spirit so that he may someday bring them back to life: soulless, mindless, walking soldiers of the insidious North monsters. No man has survived them."

Ashitaka stood there, no fear evident in his face, listening on. Lady Eboshi let a slow smile grow on her face.

"Then again, you are no man, are you Ashitaka. You are all but a demon, yourself."

Ashitaka did not smile at the dry joke. "The Forest Spirit washed me of my vices and the curse; I am human now, weak and foolish as before. Rather that than a powerful demon, with power only to destroy and harm."

"The journey will be a week," Lady Eboshi said. "What will you give to make up for your absence and lack of work?"

"I am the Prince of the Emishi tribe, yet I have no riches or jewels. But I can offer my heritage. It is all I have; afterwards, I will travel to the North and once more be simply Ashitaka, the warrior."

"Will you sacrifice your blood?"

"Yes."

That night, the villagers gathered around outdoors in a large ring, to see off Ashitaka, who would once again lose his Prince status. Iron Town was not a tribe but a village so there was no need for parting rituals. But Lady Eboshi prepared an iron bowl, a custom made one from the forges of the town.

Ashitaka took the smooth, wooden hilt of his sword and pulled out his blade. Then he cut through his thick dark hair until the bun came and his hair once again fell to his chin. He placed it in the bowl. Then he braced himself and cut his left arm, the one which he used to write. The cut was just enough to let a few drops of blood into the bowl. The villagers looked on wide eyed.

Ashitaka remembered the rituals, however. "The law forbids me from saying goodbye to you. I must leave now." He got up, and left. The gates of Iron Town closed behind him with a finality that left Ashitaka wondering, would he ever come back?

"Yakul," he called to his elk. The red elk came bounding to him, affectionately nipping his fingers and ears. "Come on," he whispered.

They rode off into the darkness of the night, leaving safety and comfort behind them. It was the start of a new adventure.

It was daybreak. San was up early, leaning against her brothers for warmth and comfort. She missed Ashitaka terribly. She hadn't wanted such a hasty goodbye. It left her feeling unsatisfied and weak. She fingered his jewelled dagger on her neck. But Mother had insisted they journey to the North. Why, she wasn't so sure. It involved danger, and risk, that much she knew.

"I'm San, the daugher of Moro, the wolf goddess," she whispered to herself. I don't have to be thinking of a human, she thought in her mind.

There was silence for a few blissful moments. San smiled to herself, knotting her fingers in the wild wheat grass, which was growing long and green and healthy. It made for a wonderfully comfortable bed. The forest was so beautiful. To her, it was home. No where else could be. She tried to imagine herself living as a human in Iron Town or a human tribe and the thought sickened her.

There was a rustling in the bushes nearby. San leapt to her feet immediately, keeping her hands on her knife. This was a private space in the forests. No rogue animals or spirits dared entered, knowing it as the wolf tribe's territory. That could only mean—humans.

"Who's there?" she said loudly. "Come out, whoever you are."

Her brother were awake now, prowling about, snarling. Their eyes were wide and their ears sharpened.

Presently, a figure emerged from the shadows. It was a human. A man. He seemed rather dirty, by human standards. His clothes were torn, most likely by the thorns and vines that led up to this part of the forest. He had a bow and arrow and a sword. His feet were bare, bleeding and scratched. But most of all, he stunk of human. The scent of Pollution hung off of him obstinately. San wrinkled her nose in disgust. Her brothers growled at him.

"Who are you?" she said brusquely.

"Princess Mononoke," the man said, apparently in awe.

"I am San, daughter of Moro, the wolf goddess," San snarled. "That name you mentioned is what the humans call me."

But she was cut short when the man suddenly pointed his bow and an arrow at her brother.

"At last," he said shakily. "I will claim the life of the wolf cubs, and Princess Mononoke will become human again."

San's reflexes kicked in. She did a somersault in the air and landed on the man's otherside, grappling him. His arrow went flying off into the trees. Her brothers pounced on him, gnawing at his legs. The man screamed in pain.

"Wait!" San screamed. "Don't kill him yet."

The man lay on the ground, writhing in pain.

"While you're still alive," San said, gritting her teeth, "tell me why you came here to kill us, and how you came here. Tell me and I will spare your life."

The man gasped for breath, his chest quaking. "I was sent here by a woman—"

San gasped in horror and anger. "Eboshi? What was her name? Was it Lady Eboshi of Iron Town?"

"N-No," the man gasped. Suddenly, his eyes, which were pitch black, turned a clear shade of light blue.

He started crying. "I was so scared. They made me like this. They were horrible, I was terrified. It's not me, it's not me, it's not me…"

He began to quiet, only his tears evidence of his living state. San was sure he would be dead in a few minutes. Pity lead her to drive her knife into his neck, letting him sleep in peace forever.

Moro came bounding out of the trees suddenly. "I smell human, " she snarled. Then she spotted the man.

"Mother," San said, straightening up. "I don't' know how he found us. I couldn't get anything out of him before he died."

Moro was cautiously sniffing at the man, licking his face, staring into his still face, his eyes still wide open and glassy. Her red eyes narrowed into slits.

"Children, come here," she said. "Look, he has no shadow."

San gasped. Her brothers backed away a bit, their fur rippling out of shock. It was true. He had no shadow.

"This is a soldier from the North, hypnotized by the demons to kill us, most likely."

"Mother, isn't that where we're going?

"Yes, child," Moro said. We are going to the North to put those sick spirits to sleep. They cannot remain any longer. They will sabotage the humans, and try to destroy us. This man was a prince. He came from the Wakanae tribe in the South West."

San immediately thought of Ashitaka. She began shaking.

"Let's go," Moro said. "Do not touch the man. We cannot bury him, but we won't dispose of his body either. Leave him here to rot, and his remains will bring forth flowers and grass in due time. His blood will act as water to the thirsty soil."

San took one last look at the man, and struggled not to shudder. She jumped on her brother's back and left without a single glance back.


	4. Chapter 4

Princess Mononoke Fanfiction

Chapter 4

Ashitaka woke up at dawn, hearing the cry of the wolf. The howl sent shivers down his spine. It sounded anguished and frantic—something was up. Something sinister was happening.

Ashitaka quickly rolled up his woven hay sleeping mat and packed up his things. He whistled for Yakul, who came to him promptly. He fed the elk dried corn from his hand before climbing on his back and riding off into the distance.

Ashitaka steered North East. Somewhere deep in his bones, he could sense the darkness in that direction.

"Something's going on," he muttered to himself. "Let's go, Yakul!"

Together, boy and elk bound into the dark looming trees of the North forest.

The wolf pack had been travelling for 2 days. It usually never took more than a few hours to journey from the west to east.

"Keep up the pace children," Moro grunted. "We're almost there."

San could feel her eyelids fluttering in fatigue as she struggled to remain upright on her brother's back. She crouched down low to avoid the scraggling thorns of the branches of trees. They cut at her arms anyway: her bare arms and legs were covered in scratches. Some had opened and deepened and were openly bleeding.

"San, you're bleeding," her brother muttered at her from a corner of his mouth. A thin yet steady trickle of blood was oozing from her leg onto his white fur, staining it.

Moro abruptly stopped and wheeled around.

"We can take a short rest here," she said. The boy cubs went prowling off in search of a drink of water to satiate themselves. Moro tended to San, tenderly licking the scratches on her legs and arms.

"Where does it hurt, daughter?" Moro murmured.

"Not anymore, mother," San said, smiling. She leaned into her mother's warm fur and let her eyes close for a few seconds. Moro noticed her daughter's exhaustion.

"We'll continue tomorrow," Moro growled at her boy cubs. "For now, we rest."

The boy cubs shifted uneasily.

"Resting in broad daylight? Isn't that risky?"

"Yes," said Moro, "But your sister is tired. We must enter the North with focus and attention. Rest, children."

The boy cubs obligingly curled up next to their sister and fell fast asleep. Moro stayed awake a little longer to watch a fast approaching figure on the horizon of the mountain. A cape, a dark figure on a elk…

Moro gave a barking laugh and her mouth rippled back in a smirk to expose fatal teeth.

"Ashitaka," the wolf goddess said, "I should have known."

Ashitaka felt as if he were still miles away from the North, though he had already been journeying for 3 days. He arrived at the bottom of a hill. There were spirits up ahead, but they didn't seem to be bad ones. Ashitaka decided to take his chances.

"Wait here," he said to Yakul. The elk pawed at the ground nervously and butted his head into Ashitaka's. Ashitaka stroked his soothingly, then set up on a trek.

He couldn't help think that it was very similar to the one he had set upon in the West, leading to Iron Town. He remembered the _kodama _had shown up then and led to the way out. Ashitaka looked futilely about—no friendly tree spirits showed up. The forest was silent. Dead. It was less than sleeping—a bunch of trees and dirt and grass and nothing more. There was no life, no soul, no spirit. Ashitaka felt uneasy in the environment. The silence was unsettling. Until—

Ashitaka could hear breathing up ahead. It was unmistakeable—there were living souls up ahead. Good or bad, he couldn't tell. Ashitaka crept through the trees, barely making a sound.

He stopped dead in his tracks. To his absolute astonishment, it was the wolf tribe. He eyes zeroed in on San instantly, spotting her. All sorts of feelings welled up that moment. Sadness, joy, a strong, uregent desire to run over and envelop her in his arms..

He'd barely taken two steps when a low growl stopped him.

"Ashitaka. I should have known you to end up showing up. You are the most interfering human I have ever met."

But Ashitaka couldn't respond. For the first time in his life, he was frozen in fear. Behind Moro, looming in the dark recesses of the trees, was a pair of blood red eyes.

"And? What do you have to say?" Moro snarled.

Ashitaka pointed mutely to the trees.

Moro turned around, but the eyes were gone.

"What's this? A trick? Didn't San tell you herself she never wanted to see you ever again? What are you doing here?"

"There's a demon here…" Ashitaka muttered, regaining his senses.

Moro's sharp ears pricked up immediately. As much as she hated the idea of her daughter and this human boy being togther, she knew Ashitaka was a strong warriro with integrity. He would never lie.

"What did you see?"

"Eyes. Red eyes. Behind you, in the forest yonder."

By this time, San and the cubs had woken up at the commotion. San spotted Ashitaka and her initial reaction was confusion and shock. Then she smiled and couldn't help the bubbling laughter of joy that escaped. She ran and threw herself into his arms.

"Ashitaka…" she whispered.

Ashitaka's heart was somewhere in his throat. He put his arms around her cautiously. "I missed you," he said quietly, and meant it.

Moro gave a dissatisfied growl and the two immediately parted, San looking ashamed at having lost herself. Ashitaka found it hard to be regretful at all.

"What else did you see?"

"Nothing," he said firmly. "They disappeared as soon as you turned around. I believe they aren't afraid of me, but fear you."

"What's going on?" San was wide-eyed and awake, after her long nap.

Ashitaka turned to her. "There's demons nearby. I saw one just now. They're hiding in the North forest."

At this proclamation, the wolves' fur pricked. San gritted her teeth and bared them slightly, looking a bit like a wolf herself.

"I'm journeying to the North to hopefully slay these demons." This, directed to Moro.

"And what do you get from that?" Moro asked, unimpressed. She hoped he would be killed in the effort.

"That is something I cannot tell you." Ashitaka said in a tone that clearly said this was not be discussed anymore.

"Mother," San said hesistantly, "Couldn't Ashitaka come along with us? He would prove useful."

Moro looked at her daughter wearily. She could never be stern with San after all, but this was a different matter all together.

"Say your goodbyes," she said.

"Goodbye," San said, her face void of emotion. If she let herself, she would cry, and that would be the most degarding expression of human weakness.

Ashitaka smiled at her, even though his heart was breaking. "We'll meet again."


	5. Chapter 5

The demon's red eyes haunted Ashitaka in his sleep—every dream was a variation of the red eyes that glared at him so balefully and malevolently. They were different from Nago's—Nago was once a respectful god who had been cursed by Eboshi's iron ball of poison. There was something different about those eyes. Ashitaka hated to use the word but there was no other word to use to describe them.

Evil.

You know you're in love when you think about the person before yourself. As much as he was shaken to the bone, he couldn't stop thinking of San, and the impact all this would have on her. He couldn't help think—what if the Northern monsters destroyed them? What if, in the process, Moro and her tribe was really killed? Then there would be no war, no feud to be left to fight between the spirits and humans—there would just be the terrorizing forest spirits, and the victims, the humans, whose guns and weapons would be as insignificant as dust and ashes.

And Ashitaka wasn't sure he could live on without San. He tried to imagine a world where he continued living—and couldn't imagine it. He would follow her to the ends of the earth—he would follow her to death. He would follow her to the recesses of depression and unimaginable pain and torture.

He was completely and vulnerable to San. A slave to his love for her.

Ashitaka could watch the sunrise from his makeshift bed at the top of the pine tree that he'd decided to sleep in for the night.

He and San came from two different worlds. Two different worlds that seemed to refuse to merge together and get along. It left Ashitaka feeling a dull and aching anger and bitterness. The acrimony and hot fire he felt in his stomach was but a faint reflection of the curse's prickling poisonous hatred. But it was human anger—enough anger to make his fists curl into balls at the injustice.

Ashitaka would have done anything to receive Moro's blessing and be able to be with San. So when he watched the sunrise every morning, knowing that he and San were watching the same one, and it was really just one world with different people they were living in, it gave him a glimmer of hope. The sun was often said to be a beacon of optimism for people. Perhaps that's why they say "a ray of hope". Ashitaka could see him and San being together, happy, as the golden sun slowly shows itself, glimmering with indefatigable energy.

Ashitaka may have been in a certain sort of peace, but things were very different for the girl he was constantly thinking about.

It was a warzone. In this warzone, there were no humans, so there was nothing but claws, fangs, teeth, flailing arms, and rippling muscles. Raw blood pooled the black-green forest floor.

Just a few minutes ago, the wolf tribe had arrived at the base of the North forest, only to be greeted by a pack of malevolent and not-so-welcoming demons.

San was all at once awed and disgusted by their appearances. They didn't look like animals anymore—they were pure monster. All frothing foam at their mouths and growls. Even Moro couldn't understand them. San was scared by this—they couldn't speak. They were unable of compassion, empathy, feelings… They didn't have their own minds. It was as if they were brainwashed.

Four of them were advancing on her, surrounding her on all sides. San took out her bone knife and bared her teeth, her natural instinct when fighting. She usually felt an incredible thrill and rush of adrenaline when fighting, but this was different. She could feel death surrounding her on all sides—it was prevalent, the risk, the real danger of her getting killed in this battle. But her mother and brothers were fighting bravely so she had to try.

San hurled herself at one of them, gashing its eye and effectively blinding it. It screamed, a beastly, unearthly howl that stirred her blood.

"San! Watch out!" her brother shouted. She turned around in the nick of time to see a demon with its mouth inches away from her. She made a wide sweeping arc with her knife and let it fly into the stomach of the beast, killing it instantly.

"No!" Moro cried.

San whipped her head around. One of her brothers was lying limp in the mouth of the demon. San uttered one snarling shriek of hate and fury and flung herself at the beast. It was the last one—it died by her hand.

As it fell to the ground, it disintegrated into dust and left nothing but a pools of blood, just like its kin. San wondered why the bones were so brittle as to just turn into ashes. It was obviously a curse that had rotted their flesh and left them with no conscience.

San's brother cub rolled to the ground, teeth marks all over, bleeding profusely.

"No," San breathed. Her whole body began shaking. She dropped to her knees and weakly crawled to his side.

Moro was, in a desperate attempt to stem the bleeding, licking her cub all over.

"Get some tree roots," she growled at the other brother. He ran off into the recesses of the dark forest.

San ran over, regained her senses, and began sucking the dirty blood out of her brother's wounds, like she had when he was shot by Eboshi. As she spit out mouthfuls of blood, she could feel her stomach rolling around. What would she do if- ?

She refused to think about it. Her brother came from the forest, his mouth full of medicinal herbs and roots. They were raw plants that could cure most wounds.

San immediately grabbed a handful and began chewing them up. She took a soggy wad out of her mouth and shoved in into her brother's throat, clamping down his jaw with all her might when he resisted.

The wolf family stayed in the base of the North Forest until sundown. The pools of blood that had been the demons' had long since dried and blackened the grass so that it looked like they were standing on a sea of dark red blood. San was disheveled: her tunic and dress was ripped in several places and there was a cut on her face. Her hair, roughly cut at her chin, was messier than ever.

The brother cub showed no signs of recovery. He lay there, limp, not dead, breathing slightly, by the soft rise and fall of his chest. His jaws were open, his tongue hanging out. His eyes were half open. He was clearly too weak too move. San was afraid he was bleeding in the inside—something the herbs couldn't cure. Perhaps he'd been bitten by the demons.

Moro sat down and lowered her head to him, a sign of deep respect to the passing. San muffled a gasp with her hand. Moro couldn't think he would die-?

"Mother, brother won't die. He's survived worse attacks than this. Please don't give up." She said the last part in a whisper.

"Daughter," Moro said in a weary and resigned voice, "Death is not terrible. It will carry your brother to a place where he will join the others who have died. He will shed this battle ridden body. He'd lived and fought valiantly for you and I. It does not seem he has will left to live. He's given up, himself. When he does not want to live anymore, it doesn't matter what you and I feel. We must accept the fact that he wants to leave us."

So that was it. "_Onii-san_," San whispered. "We need you. Please please please stay with us. We can't go on without you. Please. I know you're strong enough. Don't just leave, you can't leave me and mother and your own brother. Don't leave. I'll make you get better yourself!"

San ran. She didn't know where she was going, but this was a similar feeling to when she'd thought she would be saying her last goodbye to her mother in the war against the humans. As she ran, her heart pounded in her chest and her legs were shaking so hard it was wonder she could keep running without tripping.

She tore tree roots and plants from the soil with viciousness.

When she got back, her brother was standing on his own, his eyes half closed. San ran to him, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his fur.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

But at nightfall, as the tribe made the long trek up to the top of the mountains, there was a sudden thud as brother cub fell over, suddenly unable to stand.

"San," he said, with the remaining strength he had, "I'm sorry."

When San touched his fur again, it was cold. The pink eyes had glazed over—they were like marbles.

Moro cuddled her daughter comfortingly.

"Mother," San said. "It's not that he didn't want to live. It's that he really couldn't. Mother, I thought he was strong enough."

"Sometimes," Moro said quietly. "It doesn't matter how strong you are. Even the smallest amount of hate will kill the bravest, best person. This is the cruelty of the world we live in."

San could feel liquid gathering up in the corners of her eyes. They fell out, dropping like rain droplets into the soil.

"What is this?" San asked bewildered. She had only ever seen such a thing with Ashitaka.

"They're tears," Moro said. "Let them fall. This is what humans do to express sorrow."

So San wept, for her fallen brother, as the sun set beneath the trees and the world, like the feelings of the wolf tribe, turned black.


End file.
